Sugary-Stardust

Heya! It's been a long time, so I thought maybe I'd share a bit about myself for new watchers and give updates to the ones who've known me for a while and have stuck around during my absence (thank you!).

So, I'm Carissa, but I go by Rissa or Sugary. I'm a cis woman who recently turned 31. I have two beautiful cat boys, the very sweet Romeow (age ~10) and the troublemaker Oni (age ~5), they are my life and I would in fact die for them. I'm bi/demi/poly and live with my partners Jesse and James; since I'm pretty much a catgirl, we call ourselves Team Rocket and Meowth.

I have type 1 diabetes (diagnosed at age 15), anxiety, depression, C-PTSD, carpal tunnel syndrome, and with a recent diagnosis, have also learned that I am autistic. It's possible I have inattentive ADHD as well; I guess regardless, I'm neurodivergent and learning to accept (and love) that.

I've been in therapy for almost 10 years now, and I very much support it for anyone. I also support honest, open, helpful, and assertive communication. I have massive anxiety when it comes to talking with people, but I do still enjoy it and honestly I've learned enough about compassion and communication and self-care throughout my life that I like to think I could help a lot of people.

I'm disabled, though not yet legally; I live in the US and first applied in January 2019 and am still going through the court process. (Side note, don't EVER apply for SSI via paper application, it makes things hella slow, for the love of god do it online, don't do this to yourself.) I haven't been able to work since at least 2019, which makes money stuff uhhh... difficult. I also can't go grocery shopping alone; hmu if you also get overwhelmed by the lights, noise, and crowd the moment you step in the store.

I enjoy a variety of art and crafts, as much as my wrists will let me anyway. I enjoy drawing OCs (mine or my friends'), making adopts, and drawing cute little decorative nonsense -- primarily digitally, as traditional tends to hurt my wrists more. I also enjoy cross stitch, embroidery, crocheting, and anything else that catches my fancy like small clay figurines or giving makeovers to thrift store items.

I also enjoy web design and development and hope to one day make a virtual pet site. I'm familiar with HTML, CSS, MySQL, PHP, and database design/management; I just have a really hard time staying on track and staying interested in projects! My scripting is self-taught and my method can best be described as "slams head against problem until it's fixed and I understand why".

I believe everyone's art has value, and no matter how "good" or "professional" your art is (or isn't!), there's always something wonderful in seeing how every artist expresses themselves and the ideas they come up with! Maybe you're not practiced with anatomy, but the way you design outfits is just amazing -- or maybe you're not skilled with lineart, but your characters are incredibly lively and expressive -- or maybe you don't know how to shade, but you make bomb colour palettes! I know it's hard, but try to not compare yourself to others; do what makes you happy with your art.

I never know how to end these things, so uhhh, that's it for now?? lol. <3

I'm moving from Washington State to Minnesota next week!!!

Once I'm all settled there, I should be more active here again! idr if I've mentioned but I've been effectively homeless since the end of July, going between motels and my dad's couch with my cats and partners. I'm very much looking forward to having my own space and My Stuff again. I'm even going to have my own room for the first time in over 5 years!!!

I started working on a MYO design that is PEAK Rissacore and then I thought, let's take a look at how many times I've done That Vibe and--

Anyone notice any themes in common? xD (This is a rhetorical question, but you're welcome to answer if you want to!)

Like yes I'm scrolling through hundreds of designs to find these ones, and yet they are the VAST MAJORITY.

What do you think? xD

My friend @lostinprogres has launched the official Flloryupix website and it's now in open beta!

Flloryupix is an evolving species ARPG involving cute lil guys you've probably seen me draw a hundred times before (I'm obsessed with them). They gain experience and change appearance based on their actions and encounters in life; for example, if you draw your Florr'in basking in the sun, you unlock the Freckles upgrade! How cute is that?!

Your first MYO is free, and if you're one of the first 50 MYOs approved, you get a lil bonus trait that boosts your magic (Yeah, did I mention Fllory are magical? They develop magical affinities and can level up their abilities!)

It's still in beta so there are still features to be added and bugs to be worked out, but we need your help (and your participation will motivate us to work harder)!

You can read about the opening event on Toyhouse: https://toyhou.se/~forums/5868.species-discussion/428723.flloryupix-beta-opening

Or on the official website: https://www.flloryupix.com/news

And you are of course encouraged to join the Discord server: https://discord.gg/G9euNgbfwY

If you like my art of Floette and want to join in on the adventure, please join us! I'm also an admin -- I do alpha testing and occasionally help out with prompt submissions and site assets -- so you'll be seeing me around a lot :)

CW: Mentions of anxiety, depression, self-harm, and psych ward/crisis center. Stay safe!

Hey sooooo!!!

My housing situation has been (still is) tenuous; our condo has been flipped (by friends) so that it can sell for reasonable money because we can't afford to keep living there, the monthly expenses are more than our income (which is one person's disability for 3 people + 2 cats). Knowing we'd be moving soon isn't new, but we have about 30 days after the condo sells to Get Out and we still don't know where we're going.

For this reason, and a million other reasons, plus ArtFight, plus my physical health, plus my massively uncontrolled anxiety, I went to the ER almost exactly a month ago to beg them to put me into an inpatient program. It was extremely difficult, as a woman nobody seems to take you seriously if you haven't attempted suicide or at least cut yourself, and I was hysterically sobbing to every doctor that I was trying to get help BEFORE I hurt myself permanently. They still were on the fence about it until I gave them an actual Suicide Plan, at which point they took all of my personal belongings except my underwear, glasses, and chapstick, and left me in a room in the ER overnight, sleeping alone on an air mattress in scrubs.

The next morning, I was driven in the back of what was clearly a covert cop car (it had bars over the windows and between the seats) to the psych ward. Honestly, the psych ward did a lot of good for me, especially because they were in charge of my blood sugar (my pump had been taken away from me so that I couldn't overdose on insulin) and that meant, in my brain, that I could fuck around and do whatever I wanted and it was THEIR job to take care of me. And it was great! I got to start exercising again. I got to be more lenient with my blood sugar. I didn't have CGM alarms going off all the fucking time triggering my rage. I learned things. I made friends. I didn't have to be at the condo while there was active construction.

I was at the psych ward for 6 days. After that, I got to be home and sleep in my own bed for all of about 3 days before having to go to a motel instead. This was when construction REALLY started, and I couldn't stand the noise and the cats would have been a hazard. It was a cheap motel where the doors open directly to the outside, on the busiest intersection in the entire city, and I could not leave the cats unattended for even a moment because if housekeeping opened the door and let the cats out, nobody would do anything about it. So I took turns going outside with whoever I was staying with. First was Jesse, for about a week. (Now he's staying in Hawaii with family that lives there. I was invited, but need to stay with the cats.) Then was James. I stayed there for a total of 12 nights before we were kicked out because that's just their maximum stay time.

Fortunately, my dad offered to let us stay with him. This is particularly nice as he is allergic to cats. He lives in an unfinished basement (like half basement, half of it is underground) and things are falling apart, but there's a yard, a kitchen, relative peace, safety, and familiarity. This is the house I grew up in (ages 9-19) -- it wasn't falling apart back then -- and that of course brings back a lot of memories, both good and bad. But I feel SAFE here. The cats are safe. I can watercolor in the backyard and enjoy the sun and feel at peace.

I've been gradually letting myself back into the digital world. ArtFight was a hard pass, of course; I may never be able to participate in it again, I stress myself out WAY TOO MUCH about it. But I've been getting back into Discord, setting boundaries (no more mobile push notifications, no more auditory notifications), talking with people, and drawing. We've been at my dad's for almost a week now, I think.

So, that's why I haven't been around. My anxiety had been so severe I was nearly constantly having an anxiety attack, and I was having edibles every single night to cope with the stress, and I didn't want to die but I couldn't see a way for me to keep living under the conditions.

I'm feeling much better now. Things are still incredibly uncertain, but I'm not freaking out about it anymore.

Seeking money, art, points, or characters (in order of preference)! You can ignore the listed prices; I'm looking for almost anything at this point.

Cross-posted on Discord.